Your Biggest Fear
by dumplingdumpling
Summary: On an uneventful night, Gon and Killua discuss their biggest fears and from their conversation, the depths of their friendship is revealed.


Your Biggest Fear

"What is your biggest fear Killua?"  
Ehhhhh? Killua's response mirrored his confusion. As always Gon _would _ask him weird ass philosophical questions late at night. He was tired and eager to sleep but nevertheless the silver haired boy turned over to his side to face his best friend and comrade.  
"What's yours?"  
"Hey Killua that's not fair! I asked you first!"  
"Well, I got to think right. It's unfair for you to just sprout out a question as difficult as that without giving me time to think of a reply."

Although it was an easy excuse, Gon fell right for it. The straight forward boy never considered how Killua, being the quick and intelligent thinker he is, shouldn't have needed the extra time.

"Fineeeee," sighed the spiky haired boy before beginning his fragmented ramble that will take a while to get to the point.  
Killua didn't mind though. In fact, he enjoyed hearing Gon's rambles. It made him feel relaxed and almost therapeutically, drains his worries and fears away. That was the special effect Gon had on him. But of course, this little secret was one which he would never reveal. After all, he had a reputation to save.  
"...and losing my fishing rod when I happen to need to fish and... hey Killua. KILLUA!"  
"Huh, wait what I was totally listening."  
"No you weren't," grumbled Gon. "You better listen now or else I'm just wasting my breath."  
"I was always listening," smirked Killua.  
"Drop it, we all know you weren't. Anyways, I suppose my biggest fear would be being all alone."  
Loneliness... thought Killua. That was the whole theme of his up bring, along with the various training that tormented him both mentally and physically. He endured enough in his 12 years of life to make him lose all faith in kindness, hope, and humanity. That is, until he met Gon.  
"I mean," Gon continues, " I've never been entirely alone. I always had the fortune to be surrounded by amazing people, like Mitosan, Kurapika, Leorio, Biske, but most importantly, I met you Killua."  
At the mention of his name, Killua started to blush profusely. To hide his redness he turned over to the sight, although it was unnecessary since it was pitch dark except for the faint moonlight peeking from the window.  
"S-stop saying such cheesy cap Gon! That's it I'm going to sleep!"  
"Hey that's mean Killua!" Protested Gon. "I was only telling you the truth. I wholeheartedly put all my feelings into what I said!"  
Killua only blushed harder. He secretly thanks the darkness the night provided to shield his embarrassment. Surely Gon would tease him for the rest of his life if he saw how red Killua was. Just as soon as Killua thought of that, a look of pain flashes across his face. He knew it was selfish of him to believe he'd have Gon forever. He knew that this period in his life with Gon, his happiest moments, will come to an end eventually. He was neither naïve nor childish. He knew and accepted the inevitable truth. Yet, desperately he wanted to believe, to believe that they will remain like this forever.  
"Killua, are you asleep?" whispered Gon loudly enough to wake any sleeping person.  
"No."  
"So what's your biggest fear?"  
Killua paused before replying nonchalantly. "Ehhhhh, I guess it would be my brother. "  
"Ohhh of course!" Gon wanted to slap himself on the forehead for not realizing sooner, but his arms under the covers were too cozy to pull out so he slapped himself mentally instead,  
"Don't worry Killua, I'll protect you from that creep." Gon was too emitted into his determination that he failed to realize that Killua had lied. Whilst it wasn't entirely a lie, Killua's response wasn't entirely the truth either.  
"Let's go to sleep." yawned Killua. "We have to wake up early to train."  
"OK!" replied Gon. "Good night!"  
"Night."  
Finally it was quiet. Gon appears to be fast asleep already as typical of Gon. Meanwhile, Killua is left to reflect on his answer to Gon's question. Yes, it was true that Illumi is a force that anyone, including himself, will fear. However, that fear is something Killua felt throughout his life, a background noise that through years of screeching has become silent in Killua's mind. While Killua still shivers at the mere thought of Illumi's gaze, it was a fear he became accustomed to. A fear he adapted to. In place of the old fear a new one holds its place.

That fear is Gon.

Whether he knows it or not, Gon is Killua's everything. He gave Killua this normal life that Killua never imagined he could live in. Gon is the symbol of humanity, kindness and hope that Killua has long since gave up upon. Their friendship allowed Killua to escape from his pre-set family path which he loathes, and as long as they have each other, every day will be a new adventure and everything will turn out OK.  
"Gon, " whispers Killua with a slight tinge of hoarseness in his voice. Emotion trickled through as he voices out the truth.

"What I fear the most is losing you. "  
Silence  
Softly, as to not awake Gon, Killua got up to go to the washroom. After the door of their shared single bedroom closes, the supposedly sleeping figure opens his golden eyes.  
"Me too Killua. My loneliness is losing you."

A/N

This is my first fanfiction so I don't really know what I am doing. I've been a HxH fan for a long time, and randomly over the summer I've gotten back to being obsessed to Killua and wanted deeply to portray the extent of him and Gon's friendship. I hope out there, someone will read this. I sincerely appreciate any comment or reviews to encourage me to write more. Thank you!


End file.
